Baby Boomer [Knowledge Center]™: No Mother of the Year Award for Me

No Mother of the Year Award for Me
Commentary by Amy L. Harden
Special to BB[KC]

With five kids to keep track of at all times...you better believe that there has been times when I have forgotten when the bus arrives or my kids are left tapping their foot at the school door step. I gave up earning "The Mother of the Year" award a long time ago and not because I wasn't at the bus stop on time.

My last faux pas that took me out of the running last year:

My youngest wanted me to play more of a role in her classroom last year, so I offered to come one Freedom Friday and teach the kids how to do Vision Boards. I wrote and printed out directions that were sent home to the kid’s parents so they could spend the two weeks prior cutting out pictures, words and phrases that they could creatively create a collage of the hopes, dreams and desires. I even attached the note to a white brochure size envelope with colored staples inscribed in calligraphy with each child's name on it...Martha Stewart would have been proud. The teacher was very impressed....my daughter was building me up on a daily basis...telling them that I was a writer and that what they were going to do was exactly what I had my clients do in my business...she told them that it was an exercise to help you focus on your future. As the day grew closer and closer, I kept on putting off getting the other supplies for the day, due to other fires that I was putting out for other children in my home. The night before my husband raced out to the Wal-Mart and purchased glue sticks and massive amounts of poster board, cut them down to child size, loaded up bags with handles with magazines, just in case some children hadn't cut enough pictures and words. My husband also took the time to mat and frame all four of my Vision Boards that I had created over the past ten years...I had to look professional you know.

On the day of Freedom Friday, my youngest came to me before she got on the bus with the biggest smile telling me that she would see me later in the day. Now, when I spoke to the teacher last she had made a point of telling me that time was important and that I had only an hour because of lunch. On the day of my making my daughter the number one kid in the class, I was confident that I had remembered that I was to arrive after lunch, promptly at 1:00PM, after lunch....this is what the teacher had said. I took a long shower, dressed in an outfit befitting of a writer and internet entrepreneur, speaker and coach, loaded up my car with all the Vision Board gear and took off for the school with almost thirty minutes to spare...I thought. As I lugged all the bags and Vision Board in to the school and up to the classroom door, I saw the room light was on and I heard the children's voices....Hmmmmm??? I thought the kids would be at lunch still...no matter...they must have returned early, I thought. But as I appeared in the door, all the kids looked from their desks, while the teacher who had been reading a book aloud stopped reading. With all eyes on me, I said: "I'm sorry; I'll just set everything up over here, while you finish reading." One vocal young lady who felt it was her duty to tell, quickly volunteered that the class had already finished the Vision Boards and had moved on to listening to their teacher reading. My heart sank. The teacher quickly jumped off the stool she was sitting on and came over to me, leading me out of the class. She said, "I'm sorry Mrs. Harden, but the children have finished the project...you were supposed to be here at 11:00 AM before the lunch period to do Freedom Friday!" I quickly looked past the teacher in to the room to where my daughter was sitting. Her little face was tear stained and she was working on a new round...the teacher called her over, as I profusely apologized for getting the time wrong. The look on my child's face was like...well, there are no words for the look. Other than that I had embarrassed her beyond explanation, disappointed her beyond repair...I was NOT going to receive any Mother of the Year awards from this child...or even a nomination...I could probably forget about Mother's Day for the next few years too.

The teacher allowed me to talk to her in the hall for a few minutes. I apologized up and down, promising her that I would never let it happen again AND I would take her to Dairy Queen for ice cream right after school to make up for it. She willing accepted the apology through sniffles and drying of tears and bravely re-entered her classroom taking her seat. That day I met her at the bus and took her directly to the ice cream store...she had a double scoop and I had water (my penance for making the mistake). As she vigorously licked away the melting ice cream, she began to tell me about her day, excluding the fact that I had not shown up on time for her Freedom Friday. I finally asked her if she was mad at me for letting her down. "Well, Mommy, it wasn't the best thing to happen me, but it didn't kill me either...there will be other days to do Vision boards...or I would rather do one just with you any ways." We went straight home, pulled out all the poster board, glue sticks and magazines...cut out pictures and words and made one big Vision Board about the two of us. As we stood back and looked at what we had done...she exclaimed: "Now that's better than any Vision Board I would have made at school today...that has real Vision in it...it has my favorite parts of you and the Mommy I want to be some day!"
I love this kid...she has always been my sunshine!

PS: I now put all school obligations on my calendar on my wall, on my computer, in my Blackberry and on my iPOd...with reminder alarms...I will never let this happen again. I'm still not expecting a Mom of the Year Award...don't really need one...I have the Vision Board the two of created together...it is framed and hanging in her bedroom.

About Amy L. Harden
Amy is an author, speaker and respected Internet Expert/Authority on Mid Life Crisis, Depression, Successful Life Transitions and Mindset. She writes and delivers “tell-it-like-it-is” messages to help people discover and achieve a life of excellence, significance, success and abundance. Themes include: self-discovery, motivation, empowerment, knowledge and understanding, self-reflection and elegance.
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Amy's a busy woman. Below is a list of her current initiatives:
Women in MLC is her primary focus at this time. Ms. Harden created this forum in an effort to help women who are depressed, struggling and finding difficulty in transitioning or navigating through the changes that occur at mid-life.
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CyberHotFlash is a commentary on being a Stay-At-Home Mom, experiencing the mental, physical and spiritual effects of going through Mid-life.

AWE- A Woman of Elegance is an in-depth blog, primarily for women who are struggling with depression, mid-life transition or crisis.

Mindset for Life speaks to everyone, no matter where they are in their lives. The primary focus is equipping people to live “a life of excellence, significance, success and abundance through positive mindset, affirmations, visualizations, law of attraction/faith and holistic living.”

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