What’s Really Going On?

What’s Really Going On?
Checking out ESPM:
Environment, State of Mind, Physical Abilities & Mental Abilities (ESPM)
by Ruth Fennell—Special Guest Contributor
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As you start considering a variety of factors in your loved ones situation, you will want to think about four key elements. (You may want to think thru them with the senior’s involvement or just consider them on your own.) First and foremost, while allowing your family member to maintain their dignity, think about their Environment, State of Mind, Physical Abilities, and Mental Abilities:
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What is their Environment?
• Are they “safe” in their home? Can they do “Activities of Daily Living” (ADLs)
without any problems? These activities include: bathing, toileting, dressing,
grooming, eating, and mobility, such as transferring from a bed to chair.
• What is their financial situation? Are they worried about money? Do they have to
make a choice between paying for medicine or food? Are they able to keep up with
household maintenance and expenses?
• Has their neighborhood “climate” shifted during the time that they’ve lived there?
Are they still comfortable with their surroundings?
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What is their State of Mind?
• What is their emotional state? Sad? Depressed? Anxious? Lonely? Excited about
change? Apprehensive?
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What are their Physical Abilities?
• How are they doing physically? Are they able to maneuver on their own?
• Are they eating properly? Are they able to cook meals without fear of hurting
themselves, leaving the stove turned on, etc.?
• Are they still able to safely drive to the store? Doctor appointments, etc?
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What are their Mental Abilities?
• How is your family member “feeling?”
• Have they told you?
• Have you asked?
• What have you observed about their behavior?
• How often is it occurring?
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Review this article from the Mayo Foundation for additional things to consider:
http://www.mayoclinic.com/print/aging-parents/HA00082/METHOD=print
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Observe, Ask, Research (OAR)
You should find yourself starting to be more aware of the elder’s behavior, comments, and actions. Begin by Observing – paying closer attention to their situation. Try to leave the other obligations and responsibilities that you are juggling behind while you are with your loved one, and pay attention to what’s truly going on. Put yourself in the role of an impartial, neutral observer who is looking for facts, not assumptions.
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As you feel you become more in tune to the reality of their affairs, you’ll want to start Asking questions. Some of these questions will be easy, some will be very hard. Beginning a conversation about physical concerns or legal matters can be very difficult. If the senior becomes uncomfortable with what they consider to be “private,” it can create an awkward setting to say the least. Perhaps, start with talking about circumstances that a friend or other family member might have gone thru or be going thru. Ask the senior how they would have wanted it handled if they were in that situation.
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The final step of Researching will probably be the most time consuming. There are so many resources and websites that can offer valuable information that it may take a good-sized investment – in thought, time and focus. Anyone who has ever started to investigate anything on the internet knows that it quickly becomes a spider-web of information, pop-up box after pop-up box, one website leading to another. However, stay focused and single-minded – know what information you are searching for and keep tracking that down – to the exclusion of other information at that point.
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As you begin your research, go back to the four categories and questions above: Environment, State of Mind, Physical Abilities, and Mental Abilities to find the information that will help you.
To learn more about ways to help aging loved ones, go to www.LovingSeniorTransitions.com.
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About Ruth Fennell
After 12 years in the corporate Training and HR environment, Ruth is currently an active REALTOR® and instructor in the Nashville area. She has seventeen real estate designations in a variety of areas, and she is also a member of the Women’s Council of REALTORS® (WCR) and the Real Estate Educators Association (REEA).



Ruth teaches real estate pre-licensing courses and designation courses, such as the Seniors (50+ years) Real Estate Specialist (SRES) class. She is also a Certified Senior Advisor (CSA) and helps families work constructively with the variety of issues that stem from aging family members. Plus, she has the Certified Aging-in-Place Specialist (CAPS) designation from the National Association of Home Builders. In addition, Ruth is a frequent speaker on the Senior Market at real estate conferences. Because of her passion for helping seniors and their families, she has also just released a new e-book, Loving Senior Transitions: The Top Five Questions Baby Boomers Need to Ask to Help Aging Loved Ones which will provide families with suggestions, easy references and internet links to almost 500 resources.

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Editor's Note: Join us next Monday for the next installment of Ruth's What’s Really Going On?
Observe, Ask, Research - Part I