Monday, November 16, 2009

“Just” - Just another 4 letter Word

“Just” - Just another 4 letter Word
by Elizabeth Cassidy—BB[KC] Women's Lifestyle Columnist
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My hearing (or lack of it according to some people) has become highly sensitive to the expression that begins with, “I’m just….”

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Maybe it comes from years of personal experience, but I try to be so careful about what I say about myself – either to myself or to the general public. I leave all the sarcastic slings to a few close friends. They need and want the practice.

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Most people don’t say the words, “I’m just” and follow it with…fabulous, so excited about my job (or future), so mindful of my own goodness, a healthy person with so much energy or phrases like, “I am just so grateful to be able to get up each day and explore new options.”

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No, nowadays it just seems to come in the form of “I’m just not getting anyplace with this job,” “I’m just never going to move ahead with my life,” and my personal least favorite one, “I’m just not good enough to matter.”

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What I find unbelievable is hearing negative, self defeating putdowns coming from intelligent, clever and creative people. People who have so much potential – just ask them when they are not beating up on themselves and are focused on their goals. But the CD they play in their minds come from years of self doubt along with the biting and hurtful words from some lovely individuals (who are probably dealing with a basketful of self sabotaging DVDs themselves) who helped reinforce all that personality pollution that whirls around a perfectly fine brain.

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We can change the way we view ourselves by changing the channel in our head. It won’t happen overnight, but become aware of your self defeating slogans. Make 2009 the year of the Positive Affirmations. Make your platform one that is filled with uplifting and optimistic statements.

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Stop yourself when the words, “I’m just” start to form on your lips. Rethink and rework that statement before uttering it.

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Try to look at it this way – when we were kids, we couldn’t say certain words or else we would suffer some nasty consequences. Start to think of “I’m just” as a phrase that could cause your dear great grandmother Tillie to faint dead away. Or even better, utter those words and have a “time out corner” dedicated in your name. Let “I’m just” start to taste like Irish Spring on your tongue. I can still taste it, but that’s a whole different article. Mmmmm…good.

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One way to strike it rich before “I’m just” leaves your repertoire is to keep a jar handy and every time you say that dastardly expression, throw in a dollar. You just might jet off to Europe for a month’s vacation, all expenses paid, or you just might end up with moths flying around the jar.
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As philosopher Earl Nightingale states, “You become what you think about.”


About Elizabeth Cassidy
Life and Career Coach, Elizabeth Cassidy, started Branching Out Life Coaching with the belief that there are creative solutions for today’s challenges. www.BranchingOutLifeCoaching.com
She is currently a national blogger for Skirt!, a woman’s magazine and is one-half of the blogging duo: Coaches on the Edge:
http://www.skirt.com/user/8507/view. Coaches on the Edge have their own Blog Talk Radio Show called Coaches on the Edge (http://www.blogtalkradio.com/Coaches-On-The-Edge).
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Elizabeth has contributed her two cents to Vibrant Nation, Huffington Post, USA Today and is the New York Life Coach expert at Examiner.com. Elizabeth is a member of our Boomer Authority™ community of experts.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Caring for Menopausal Skin - Everything You Need to Know

Caring for Menopausal Skin - Everything You Need to Know
by: Carrie E. Pierce
Special to BB[KC]

The skin is very complex.

A living, breathing, renewing organ- it serves as the body's second bowel, third kidney and third lung. As such, it’s capable of absorbing molecularly what is applied to it- so choosing all-natural skin care products that are free of toxic chemicals and endocrine system disruptors – especially during Menopause- is crucial.

The outermost layer of the skin-the epidermis- renews itself approximately every 28 days.
The act of Aging slows this renewal process- and declining hormones also have a tremendous impact on skin health.

From a cellular point of view, aging takes place via three classifications:

> Intrinsic Aging (internal cellular aging that happens normally through metabolism/cellular lifespans)
> Photo Aging (aging that happens due to sun exposure)
> Environmental Aging (aging that happens because of the toxins found in our environment and lifestyle ie: cigarettes, alcohol, extreme weather conditions, pollution, etc.)

Much of having healthy skin is an inside job. There are things that can be done daily-both internally and externally- to care for the skin and keep it radiant, healthy and beautiful- despite Menopause.
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Good skin starts with good Skin Care Basics:
Thorough, gentle cleansing- regular exfoliation- toning- and moisturizing-done both day and night.

Cleansing regularly is extremely important, and removes surface dirt, environmental pollutants and impurities. It's not a step that can be ignored.
First thing in the morning, and a much more thorough cleansing before bed.- each and every day!

Please: NO tugging or pulling around the fragile eye area. -And, try to remember you have a throat! This always-neglected area makes no real protective moisture of its own-- and relies on you to cleanse, exfoliate and moisturize it regularly to keep it healthy and attractive.

Next comes all-important exfoliation.


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This step is vital for skin that is radiant, supple, bright and beautiful. Dead skin cells can build up over time and trap sebum, causing blackheads, whiteheads and pustules. This build-up can also stop moisturizers and other treatments from penetrating and being beneficial to the skin. Regularly exfoliating maturing skin can make a world of difference!

There are many differing schools of thought about just how to go about proper exfoliation.
Agents such as nutshells, sugar, cornmeal, or AHA/BHA acids like fruit acids and/or milk enzymes are all used for the purpose of sloughing dead skin cells.

Application of Toner should immediately follow cleansing.
Toner removes the final traces of cleansing product -and-restores the skin's proper pH-- a very crucial step to healthy skin.

Your Toner should always be alcohol-free. Alcohol is very dehydrating and damaging to mature skin that's already starting to dry out on its own.

Your skin faces major stressors during the day (pollution, cigarette smoking, poor dietary choices, makeup, etc.) and because of these stressors, it saves its major repair work for night.
All this boils down to the need for two different moisturizing treatments, if the skin's moisture and nutrient needs are to be properly met.

Your daytime moisturizer is there to provide moisture, but also: sun protection.
Day moisturizer serves to provide a barrier for the skin that keeps moisture in and pollution/ environmental stressors out. It also assists makeup applied over it to stay smooth on the skin's surface.

Your nighttime moisturizer is your heavy-hitter and should be a moisturizer that’s dual purpose.
Select a moisturizer for night that nourishes, or evens skin tone through the use of vitamins/minerals, or AHA/BHAs or a small percentage of Glycolic acid.
Doing so will assist in achieving healthier/ more radiant skin- faster.

Keeping your diet healthful and your body properly hydrated is KEY-especially during the natural 'drying out' period that occurs with Menopause. Be sure to drink enough high quality water daily, and get enough of the essential fatty acids in your diet.

In terms of an excellent, results-producing basic skin care protocol, this is all you really have to do.
These steps can easily become a 5 minute beauty ritual day and night- and the results will simply astound you. We promise!

About Carrie Pierce and Menopauserus.com
Carrie Pierce has worked exclusively in the skin care, health and beauty industry for over 25 years. She’s a licensed Aesthetician, is certified in Color Analysis and has built a solid, international reputation in the field of holistic, menopausal skin care; specializing in harmful cosmetic ingredients and industry practices. She is a recognized speaker and published writer- having written numerous articles in women’s health and beauty publications and she is Founder and President of Menopauserus.com - The ultimate natural help and support site for women in need of peri menopause and menopause relief.
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Carrie is a member of our Boomer Authority™ community of experts.






Saturday, November 14, 2009

Navigate Boomer Media Continues to Expand

Navigate Boomer Media Grows by Adding Three Media
Heavy Weights and 50 Million Baby Boomer Impressions
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Online media rep firm Navigate Boomer Media is expanding to meet advertiser needs by adding three advertising sales experts and over 50 million baby boomer impressions. Navigate Boomer Media provides representation to rich content websites, blogs and social networking communities targeted at the baby boomer generation.

Navigate Boomer Media is growing rapidly and has added three advertising industry sales experts: .
• Jean Luc Valentin as National Travel Sales Director, based in Los Angeles.
• Bill Lage as National Sales Director, Mid-Atlantic, based in Washington, D.C.
• Tom Brookover as National Sales Director, Mid-West, based in Chicago.

The advertising team is led by Roger Stallard, Executive Vice President at Navigate Boomer Media. Mr. Stallard has twenty years experience building advertising sales teams and has deep knowledge and expertise in leading media companies for profitable growth.

"I am delighted with the level of talent this group contains. Each of these Sales Directors have years of media sales and management experience, with many of the largest U.S. media companies", Mr. Stallard said. "Our business philosophy calls for expertise at the highest level in both vertical and geographic coverage for advertising sales. These additions are designed to position our company to exceed the demands of our publishers, as well as our advertisers. Our rapid growth and expansion within the baby boomer category, combined with the professionalism of our associates, makes for a very exciting future at Navigate Boomer Media."

Navigate Boomer Media has also added several new publishers to its scope of representation bringing more than 50 million monthly page impressions to advertisers. Boomers are an important consumer to today’s marketers. Boomers control 70% of the total net worth in the U.S. and will spend $7 billion online this year. With marketers and advertisers eager to understand and promote their products and services online to the Boomer audience, Navigate Boomer Media provides exclusive access.


About Navigate Boomer Media
Navigate Boomer Media, LLC (www.navigateboomermedia.com
), based in Santa Monica, California, is the largest U.S. Baby Boomer online media rep firm for original rich content publishers of websites, blogs, social networking communities, and streaming radio.

Terre Reve

Terre Reve
by Karen Lyons Kalmenson—Boomer Poet Laureate

In the world where I want to live,
People care and have so much to give.

There is room for everyone’s thoughts,
No sense of doom, that all is for naught.

The morning news is not all death and war,
Who has more than whom,
no one will be keeping score.

Animals safe and happily free,
Without threat from human society.

Children play no worries no fear.
Where is this place?
I know it’s not here.

About Karen Lyons Kalmenson
“I am an almost 57 year old, happily married and proud to be baby boomer. I have lived through wars, disco, cheesy 80’s music, the now out of fashion peace and love, gen X…and still think we had the best pop culture and music. Like most aging hippies, I still shelter within me the peace/love ethos, which I pour into my love of animals and, of course, my hubby.”

Friday, November 13, 2009

Boomer Diva Nation is Looking for a Few Baby Boomer Good Men!



Attention Ladies! Boomer Diva Nation is Looking for a Few Baby Boomer Good Men!
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What kind? Men who are helpful, understanding, noble and kind. Men of Integrity.

Do you know someone?

If you know a man who fits this profile, nominate him as one of our Top Baby Boomer Men for 2010.
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Note: This is a fundraising project that will benefit one of BDN’s favorite charities: the non-profit Dress for Success Organization.
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Ready to nominate...go to: www.boomerdivanation.org/top-boomer-men and enter your nomination today for the top baby boomer man.
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Our friend and colleague, Beverly Mahone, the top diva, thanks you in advance for allowing Boomer Diva Nation to continue to make a difference.

Ten Things to Do and Not to Do After Divorce During the Holidays!


Ten Things to Do and Not to Do After Divorce During the Holidays!
by Joanie Winberg
Special to BB[KC]


Five Things to Do


1) Give yourself the gift of YOU
Re-charge your energy to lower your stress and avoid living in the “red zone” during the holiday season. It is a must to schedule a minimum of ten minutes a day for yourself every single day to recharge your energy, even if only sitting down with a cup of tea.
2) Learn to let go
Throw that worn-out holiday to-do list in the nearest receptacle! Instead
focus your time and energy on planning fun activities with your children and special friends.
3) Start new traditions
To help move your life forward after divorce, it is important to start new holiday traditions with your children and family. Some of the new traditions could include engaging your children to reach out to a local charity or children’s hospital and plan a daily “act of kindness.”
4) Focus on the positive
Start today with positive thinking and reduce those negative feelings before they overwhelm your state of mind. Pick a day to begin, and have your children identify one thing they are grateful for. Post the list on the refrigerator and let them add an item each day. A great way to start the New Year!
5) Be kind to Yourself
Do something special for yourself, especially during the holiday season.
Go shopping and buy something just for you…not the children or the house.
Plan an evening with friends or rent a movie and relax. Embrace the goodness of your spirit and decide that you control your peacefulness.
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Five Things Not to Do!
1) Don’t let your mind work overtime
During the holidays and after divorce, it is very common for your mind to work overtime with the “what ifs” and “if only” as well as negative thoughts.
When the holiday stress starts – reflect on your contributions to the happiness of others; a smile to a homeless person, a thank you to a colleague, a hug with your children.
2) Don’t isolate yourself
Especially during the holidays, surround yourself with supportive friends and family. Plan a pot luck gathering in your home and have each person bring a new friend to share the holiday spirit.
3) Don’t beat yourself up
After divorce, many women have the attitude that “I’m not good enough” and this feeling seems to skyrocket even more during the holidays. Be gentle with yourself! You are unique and special. There is no one else in the universe like you. Prepare to launch your new self with laughter and new intentions.
4) Don’t let bitterness take over
Turn your energy towards your future. Build a “dream” collage about your future and have your children do the same. Get a pile of magazines, a pair of scissors, and glue stick…and go for it. Have some fun!
5) Don’t ignore your intuition
Emotions run very high during the holidays and it may seem difficult to make a decision. Listen to your heart-of-hearts. Be patient with your decisions and understand that choice is by design. Honor your sense of right and wrong and believe in who you have become.



About Joanie Winberg
As the Founder of the National Association of Divorce for Women and Children, Joanie's passion is to help women during and after divorce to be the best they can be as well as become role models for their children and community. The 24/7 Resource Center, was created not only because of the lack of support and guidance Joanie experienced after her divorce, but for the many women who experience the same challenges. Joanie is also the Divorce Specialist for the National Association of Baby Boomer Women.

Joanie is a member of our Boomer Authority™ community of experts.

Publisher's Note: Joanie has a valuable new service for Boomer women who find themselves "single again" and in need of help. Click HERE for more information.

Suffering from Menopause? - Take the 20-Question Fact or Fiction Educational Quiz

Are you suffering hot flashes, fuzzy thinking, weight gain, night sweats, insomnia, and emotional symptoms? Are these symptoms becoming unmanageable? Are you at your wits end?

Menopause affects women in many different ways and solutions for relief are as varied as the symptoms themselves. At times the journey can feel frightening, foreign and downright overwhelming.

The long, sweaty slide into Menopause can take anywhere from 3 to 11 years, and usually begins in a woman’s mid-40’s. But Menopause is so much more than just an inner shifting of hormones and a cessation of reproductive fertility. It is a plateau on life's journey. And the more you know about it, the easier your time of transition will be.

Click HERE to take a 20-question quiz and learn all you need to know to make the journey easier. To maintain complete privacy, the quiz is totally anonymous. The correct answers to each question are provided after responding to each question. The quiz takes less then five minutes to complete.

Publisher's Note:
BB[KC]™ - Eons Educational Fact or Fiction Quizzes for Boomers is a collaborative initiative to help Baby Boomers separate fact from fiction on important issues affecting their daily lives. "Suffering from Menopause? - Take the Fact or Fiction Educational Quiz" was researched, fact-checked and written by Carrie E. Pierce, president of Menopauserus.com. Carrie is a member of our Boomer Authority community of experts.

Eons is the world's largest social networking community for Baby Boomers. Membership is free. You can join HERE.

Disclaimer: This quiz is for educational purposes only and not meant to provide medical advice. Consult with your physician if Menopausal symptoms persist.






YOU-TURN: CHANGING DIRECTION IN MIDLIFE




YOU-TURN: CHANGING DIRECTION IN MIDLIFE
Dr. Nancy B. Irwin
Special to BB[KC]

What is it with society and numbers? Start school at age 6, graduate high school at 18, finish college by 22 and retire at 65. And who says we have to stop growing, changing and evolving as we continue to grow up? Not me. And not the millions who, as they reach what I call “middlescence,” stand at the crossroads of their past and future and decide to take an alternate route.

It’s easy to get on the wrong path or get sidetracked, or even get run off the road. Maybe you reluctantly agreed to follow in your father’s footsteps and become a doctor, or you had dreams of being a writer until an English teacher scoffed at your talents. And now here you are, eager for new challenges or revisiting old ones, yet you find yourself stalled with excuses. “Can’t teach an old dog new tricks.” “I’m too old to start over.” “It’s too late.”
“Oh, I could never do that.” “I’ve been doing this for so long, why quit now?”

It’s like driving 50 miles out of your way. Frustrating, isn’t it? But do you just give up and say, “Oh, well, I’ll just keep driving down the wrong road”? Of course not! You’d turn around, wouldn’t you? So why stay on the same course of life or career?

Maybe school, family or unforeseen circumstances mapped out your life and set you down that road. But now you’re looking for a new direction and new meaning. You’re not alone. You’re one of the 84 million born in the United States between 1946 and 1964 who have now reached middle age and are on a quest to find a new way of life. By our very existence, we changed the economy, music, medicine, fashion, technology—you name it, we did it! So don’t stop now! The only limits are the ones we place on ourselves.

Some plunge headlong into midlife crises, but there is nothing critical about midlife! Instead, believe in the transformative powers of middle age. This is the time to turn it all around, to please yourself, to make your own choices and to create what you want. All you need is a “you-turn.”A U-turn is when a vehicle goes 180 degrees into the opposite direction of its previous path. Likewise, a you-turn, as I like to call it, is a complete reversal in opinion, action or policy. When you embrace a you-turn into your life, you set in motion a self-fulfilling prophecy of empowerment and possibilities.

My life journey took me on many detours until I made my own you-turn. I’m not an exceptional person—my SAT scores were pretty low, and I was always the last kid picked for any team sport. Originally from Atlanta, Georgia, I trained to be an opera singer. My passion for performing led me to New York City, where I changed direction and began a career as a stand-up comic. I worked gigs all over the country and internationally. I moved to Los Angeles in 1994, when I heard Hollywood needed more blondes. While I was doing fairly well as staff emcee at the Melrose Improv, comics only work about 30 minutes a day, so I had a lot of time on my hands. I began volunteering in the community, a move that would induce my biggest life change to date. While working for Children of the Night, a shelter for sexually abused children, I experienced an epiphany—I wanted to spend my life educating, counseling and advocating for kids like this. Not only did this experience wake up the healer in me, but it allowed me to begin healing the wounds from my own childhood sexual abuse at the hands of a clergyman. I decided to pursue a doctorate in psychology, specializing in the prevention and healing of child sexual abuse. Even with a you-turn of this magnitude, I continue to push the envelope. For example, I now am training to treat molesters, which keeps me standing in the empowering position of compassion rather than victimization. Further, treating perpetrators is the best way to help victims.

Today, in addition to my thriving private therapy practice in Los Angeles, I’m a busy public speaker for Children of the Night, as well as for other advocate groups like Planned Parenthood and the Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network (RAINN). I’m a member of the California Psychological Association, the Southern California Society of Clinical Hypnosis and the American Academy of Experts in Traumatic Stress, and I sit on the Education Committee of the California Coalition on Sexual Offending. Ironically, I’ve appeared on more radio and TV shows as a therapist than I ever did as a comedian!

I once thought my entire first and second careers were a misstep, or that I was just idling, wasting time. But my 10 years in opera and nine in comedy were not mistakes; a significant portion of my patients are creative artists—how could I truly understand them had I not been a part of that world? I believe that life is a dynamic process and everything happens for a reason. I knew somewhere deep inside, there was a purpose. If I hadn’t been a bored comedian, I may never have sought out volunteer work and had the healer in me awakened. If it weren’t for that “mistake,” I’d never be where I am now.

Mistakes get a bad rap, but they are merely stepping-stones to success. I defy you to find a successful person who never made a mistake or acted without fear. We are geared to think that mistakes are the worst possible outcome, as if someone’s keeping score or we collect them next to our name like demerits as evidence of failure. Like the longer your list of mistakes, the bigger a loser you are. But mistakes are valuable learning tools, pushing the envelope toward your success. Winners lose all the time. So embrace your mistakes and learn from them!

One of the first things I have my “mistakaphobic” clients do is to deliberately make a blunder. Go ahead and try it. This exercise gives you permission to fail and frees you to take risks. If you aren’t making mistakes, you aren’t living. (That said, your practice mistakes should never be ones that would intentionally harm another person or yourself.) Pick an activity you KNOW you’ll fail and do it. What’s the worst that can happen? Will you fall off the earth? Of course not! You might be surprised at what you discover ... that you underestimated yourself, or that you have an untapped talent or two. For example, if you think you are a sucky singer, go to a karaoke night. You’ll dissolve the block of fear and learn to truly value your strong suits and skills.

If you want to make a change, mistakes and all, you’ve come to the right place. This isn’t a how-to book—it’s a can-do collection of proof that ordinary people can do great things. It contains thought-provoking, energizing and refreshing stories from men and women who wanted to change their lives and did. Some knew what they wanted, others didn’t. No one made his or her you-turn exactly the same way. But they were just like you—they felt trapped, stuck and bored, and that’s a great place to start. At least you know how you feel. Many people are so steeped in their denial that they are completely desensitized to pain. But pain is GOOD! It is a signpost and signal that you’re going in the wrong direction. Here’s your opportunity to correct it and get going in another direction. Winners use pain as an alarm clock that something’s not working and make adjustments. Losers use pain as proof that they are failures.

Let’s get started making your own you-turn toward a new life. Don’t feel overwhelmed, we’ll go in baby steps.

Begin by asking yourself the following questions to get in gear, and let them sink in before answering. I would suggest answering one at a time, preferably before bed. Make each one an essay—write down every thought, feeling and impulse (positive and negative) you have for that answer. Then put it away until you’ve completed them all.
1. What would you do if you knew you could not fail?
2. If money were no object, what would you be doing?
3. If time were no obstacle, what would you be doing?
4. If you were given six months to live, how would you spend them? What would you want to say, and to whom, on your deathbed?
5. If you could be present at your own funeral, what would you want to hear the eulogizers saying about you?
6. When you are 100 years old and sitting on your porch talking to your great-great-grandchildren, what do you want to share with them about your life? What would you like to look back on and see that you did— what you stood for, what you had to say?
7. If you had time to volunteer in the community, what would that look like? Would you read to the blind, save the whales, clean up the environment, serve in a soup kitchen, visit terminal kids in a hospital? What causes could you take a stand for? How could you help to make the world a better place? A great way to begin this exercise is to ask yourself what angers/bothers/upsets you most about the world? How can you help change that? I find that the answer is always in giving.
8. What are your strengths and limitations? Write down all the things that are working in your life, followed by those you’d like to change.
9. Which is scarier: change, or staying bored and miserable where you are?
10. What is the worst possible outcome you can imagine? Could you survive if that ensued?
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That took a lot of work, I know. Are you any closer to what it is you’d like to do? Any changes you’d like to make? Don’t have a clue? No problem. There are ways to jumpstart your life changes.
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Want some more?
1. Think back when you were a kid. Who/what did you want to be when you grew up?
2. What are your five favorite movies ever? Five favorite books? You identify with the message or the characters in some way. Explore that common denominator. It is an integral part of YOU.
3. What are your most important values?
4. What are the happiest, most fulfilling, or most outstanding peak moments in your life thus far?
5. What are you most proud of?
6. What are you good at? Make a list of all those things you like to do, and those that you are really good at (they may or may not intersect).
7. Take a survey of five diverse people (professional, friend, neighbor, family member, etc.) and ask them what they see as your three greatest strengths, as well as three areas that could use improvement.
8. What three adjectives would those closest to you use to describe you?
9. What do people come to you for? What sort of help or advice?
10. If you could wave that proverbial magic wand, what would you suddenly have/be/do?


About DR. NANCY IRWIN
Psychotherapist/Clinical Hypnotist/Author/Speaker/Baby BoomerOriginally from Atlanta, where she trained as an opera singer, Dr. Nancy Irwin moved to New York City in 1985 to pursue a career as a stand-up comedian. She worked all over the country and abroad, and moved to L.A. in 1994 when she heard that Hollywood needed more blondes…

Dr. Irwin experienced an epiphany when she began volunteer work for Children of the Night, a shelter for sexually abused children in Los Angeles. This waked up the healer in her, and prompted her to pursue a doctorate in psychology at age 42 and to specialize in the prevention and healing of child sexual abuse. She now treats victims as well as abusers, for it is her belief that “The best way to help victims is to help the perpetrators.”

A pre-licensed psychologist and clinical therapeutic hypnotist, Dr. Irwin is in private practice in Los Angeles (http://www.drnancyirwin.com/), co-leads group therapy sessions for sex offenders, and is also a busy public speaker, and at work on her second book. You-Turn: Changing Direction in Midlife (Touch the Sun Publishing, 2008, http://www.makeayou-turn.com/), a collection of “over 40 stories of people over 40” is her first book. She can be contacted at 310-235-2882 310-235-2882 or nancyirwin@earthlink.net.
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Nancy is a member of our Boomer Authority™ community of experts.



About Ask The Coach Exchange
"Ask The Coach Exchange offers you personal online access to an elite network of expert coaches to answer your questions and help you to create meaningful solutions. Our coaches share their knowledge, experience, resources and vision to make a difference in the world."—Viki Winterton, Founder & Editor of The Coach Exchange.

Publisher's Note:
In our continuous effort to bring high-value content and uniquely different services that you can put to practical use, Ask The Coach Exchange is a BB[KC] educational content alliance partner. You are encouraged to pay a visit to their site to find out how the coaches and consultants who reside there can help you. The Ask The Coach Exchange column will feature a different coach on the second Friday of every month here on BB[KC]. —Martin Diano

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Moving to Costa Rica to Retire

Moving to Costa Rica to Retire
By Gene Warneke
Special to BB[KC] from
Traveling For Health

I moved to Costa Rica over three years ago from San Diego, California at the age of 54 to retire and live well. I grew up in a navy family and in my adult life I’ve lived and traveled in other countries from time to time So, it was a relatively easy decision to move in Costa Rica and settle down to a new lifestyle.

The last several years before I moved had been stressful. In October of 2002, my wife had committed suicide. In 2003, I had a small hernia repaired and was then laid off from a high-paying, but very stressful director’s position at the large and historic Hotel del Coronado. Several months before that my mother had a massive stroke and heart attack. I took her under my care in my home until she died of dementia at the end of 2004. In the middle of 2004 I took a bad fall on a slippery outside staircase and tore three ligaments off of my right shoulder. My only child, a 30 year old son, a doctoral student at UC Santa Barbara was no longer dependent on me financially.
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I met with financial advisors to see how long my savings would last me while living in the U.S. The advisors estimated that if I invested my money wisely and worked for another five years before retiring, I would run out of money around the age of 74 with only social security benefits for income.

Having worked so hard for many years and experiencing so much death, I decided that I wanted to discover a better life. So, I set off to explore parts of Europe, Peru, Belize, Mexico and the U.S. looking for a place where I would feel comfortable and safe.

I took a “Learning Annex” seminar on buying real estate in Costa Rica, liked what I heard and decided to go and check it out. I booked a four week intensive Spanish course in a small community in the Central Valley of Costa Rica then traveled around for another two weeks with the instructor who taught the real estate seminar.

Despite struggling to become fluent in Spanish, I decided Costa Rica was the place for me to retire. I returned to San Diego and sold my home. A few months later I flew back to Costa Rica to find an apartment, a lawyer, buy a car, secure medical and car insurance, open a bank account and other matters. I returned to San Diego and had several garage sales to ‘lighten my load’ and then shipped what I didn’t sell or give away in half a container.

Within the first year I got married, received permanent residency status without restrictions to work and found a magnificent property above the city of Grecia in the west Central Valley. For sixteen years I had carried around a sketch of a dream home I wanted to build. I couldn’t afford to build it in the States, but I could and did in Costa Rica at 40% of the cost. I’m sitting in that dream home as I write, Villa Luces que Flotan or House of Lights that Float, high on the slopes of Volcan Poas overlooking the Central Valley.

Learn how Gene has handled
serious medical challenges both in the States and in Costa Rica.


About Gene Warneke
Gene is a photo-journalist and a Traveling4Health.com contributor.
View photo albums documenting the construction, from the ground-up, of his home in Costa Rica. View samples of his photography in Costa Rica on Youtube.


Publisher’s Note: Traveling4Health.com, a medical tourism web portal published by Ilene Little, is a new BB[KC] strategic alliance content partner. The Traveling for Health column will appear on the second Thursday of every month. Ilene is a member of our Boomer Authority™ community of experts.


Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Staying Mentally Healthy As We Age

Staying Mentally Healthy As We Age
By Dr. Mikol S. Davis, Ed.D., psychologist and Carolyn L. Rosenblatt, R.N., B.S.N., Attorney, AgingParents.com

Special to BB[KC]

The problems of aging can alter the way we are accustomed to being in our world, and can be damaging to mental wellness unless we work at holding onto wellness. There are recognized components to mental health, and these are some of the basics.

Maintaining a sense of purpose in life is critical to maintaining mental wellness.
People sometimes lose their sense of purpose when they stop working or raising children. Loss of a spouse or loss of physical mobility can cause us to feel “adrift” or useless. Volunteering your time with something you enjoy may give you the reward of feeling appreciated, and can give you a sense of purpose. Volunteer opportunities exist everywhere. Choose an activity with which you are familiar, and with which you have confidence or knowledge.

Structure.
With retirement, loss of structure can directly affect self esteem. When structure is not imposed by school, family, or work, one must strive to create structure in life. Maintaining structure is much more difficult than simply creating it. It requires a different kind of self discipline than it does to cook the family meals or work for a paycheck. Having a place to go, something to look forward to, and a reason to get out of bed or out of the house is essential to maintaining mental health.


Having Fun.
Self acceptance is key to dealing with the diminished independence that often accompanies aging. We simply have to give up seeing ourselves as we once were, totally on our own, if we are to maintain mental wellness when aging changes us. Scheduling activity every day, especially fun activity is useful. Consider having fun as part of your job in maintaining a healthy senior lifestyle. In our work-obsessed society, this can be difficult, but give yourself the “okay” to enjoy all you can.

Creating or maintaining a sense of community.
Being a part of a community can serve a multitude of needs. Mental stimulation, socializing, a sense of spirituality, a forum for physical activity, and a feeling of belonging are some of the benefits of community. Isolation is the opposite of maintaining a sense of community. Getting out with a friend and enjoying seeing something new can help build and keep a sense of community with others, and fend off feeling lonely.

Mental wellness is a combination of a healthy spirit, in a healthy organism that makes the whole of us. Like any aspect of our health, staying mentally healthy takes work.




About Dr. Mikol S. Davis, Psychologist
Dr. Mikol Davis, Ed.D., has been a mental health care provider for 35 years. He obtained his doctoral degree in educational and counseling psychology from the University of San Francisco in 1980. He has extensive post-doctoral education in human learning, communication skills, interpersonal conflict, and psychopharmacology. He has a special interest in aging issues, particularly assessing elders’ capacity for making decisions. He has broad expertise in depression, anxiety, adolescent behavior, and addressing conflicts in families. He is a mediator of family disputes. Together with his wife, nurse-attorney Carolyn Rosenblatt, he is a founder of AgingParents.com in San Rafael, CA, which provides services and resources to those who are caring for aging loved ones. He has co-authored published articles on mental wellness and other subjects with his wife and business partner. He also maintains a general psychology practice in San Rafael. He blogs at
agingparentssupport.com. You may contact him at (415) 459-1203 or by email drmikol@agingparents.com

About Carolyn L. Rosenblatt, R. N., B.S.N., Attorney at Law
Ms. Rosenblatt is a Registered Nurse and an Attorney, with over 40 years of combined experience in her two professions. She received her Bachelor of Science in Nursing from the University of San Francisco in 1971. She obtained her Juris Doctor degree from University of San Francisco School of Law in 1978. She has hands-on nursing experience with thousands of elders, as well as extensive experience in fighting for the rights of individuals as a lawyer.


Together with her husband, Dr. Mikol Davis, a psychologist, she is a founder of AgingParents.com, a resource for those who are caring for aging loved ones. She is a consultant to individuals and families struggling with aging-related issues, and is a mediator for families in conflict. She is the author of The Boomer’s Guide to Aging Parents, offering practical solutions to the most pressing legal and health care problems adult children of aging loved ones face. She has published many articles on topics related to aging in national legal and nursing journals. She serves as an expert columnist on numerous websites. She also blogs at
eldermediationblog.com and agingparentssupport.com. You may contact Carolyn at (415)459-0413 or send her an email nurselawyer@agingparents.com




Copyright 2009 - Mikol S. Davis, Ed.D., and Carolyn L. Rosenblatt, R. N., Attorney at Law, www.AgingParents.com.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

They Named the Baby After a Relative I Hate




They Named the Baby After a Relative I Hate
A new grandparent loves her granddaughter, but is stung by her name
by Susan Stiffelman

My oldest son has given me my first granddaughter, but the joy of the moment has been spoiled because he has named her after a person who was abusive to me and caused a great deal of pain. How do I cope with being forced to use this name for my granddaughter for the rest of my life?
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It is heartbreaking that some young people don't grow up with the sense of protection and safety that they need. One of a child's fundamental needs is to feel the security that allows him or her to develop in healthy ways. I am so sorry that a relative was abusive to you, and that this person's name is now front and center in your life.
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But here is something I know for sure: When we hold on to anger and withhold our forgiveness — no matter how justified we are in doing so — we suffer. This in no way minimizes the pain you endured from this relative. Nor does it in any way make it okay. I would never counsel a patient to forgive an abuser based on the notion that the person had not been seriously injured by the abuse.
But I have seen the effects of remaining stuck in a cycle of anger and blame. And I have watched courageous people move toward forgiveness. Simply put, those who move through the stages of grief — denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance — lead happier lives.
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Moving Forward
I don't know the particulars of your situation, or why your son named his child after this relative, but I can sense the outrage you feel knowing that your beloved granddaughter's name is going to remind you of someone who harmed you.And still, I know that when we move toward acceptance and forgiveness, we give ourselves the gift of a healthier life. The abuse was out of your control; what is in your control is whether you allow hurt and acrimony to consume you, or choose to get the support — ideally, with the help of a trained professional — to do the grieving that can help you release some of your pain.
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This isn't easy; I understand how difficult it can be to forgive someone who hurt you terribly. But remember: Forgiving someone is not the same as saying that person's behavior was okay. Forgiveness simply recognizes that someone was in so much pain and confusion that he or she acted in ways that a loving person could not. To have harmed you as this relative did, this person had to have been significantly damaged. Perhaps recognizing that person's emotional wounds might make it easier to grieve the loss of what you deserved — a safe childhood — so that you can move on.
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Embracing the Girl
This does not dismiss your relative's responsibility for having hurt you. It does, however, allow for the possibility that when you speak your new granddaughter's name, you can do so with love and joy, not with waves of pain and hurt.
Your granddaughter may end up being the catalyst that motivates you to do the grieving and healing that will help you release the burden you've been carrying. I hope so. The thought of you speaking this beloved child's name through clenched teeth is a horrible one. See if the love you have for her can propel you toward reclaiming a part of yourself that has been cut off, so that you — along with this new baby — can discover the beauty of living life with the lightness and joy that you both deserve.
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I wish you all the best as you move toward wholeness. Here is a quote that I love from Dutch botanist Paul Boese: "Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future."
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About Susan Stiffelman
Susan is the author of
Parenting Without Power Struggles: Raising Joyful, Resilient Kids While Staying Cool, Calm and Connected (Morgan James, 2009). A marriage and family therapist (MFT), she has become a source of advice and support for parents and grandparents through her private practice, public presentations, and website. Read more of her work at susanstiffelman.com.

Publisher's Note: This article was initially published on
Grandparents.com and has been republished on BB[KC] with special permission. Grandparents.com is an alliance partner of BB[KC].

Monday, November 9, 2009

A Word to the Wise-from Someone Who Knows…

A Word to the Wise-from Someone Who Knows…
Commentary by Carrie E. Pierce and Menopauserus.com

It’s become increasingly apparent to me: I’m a stranger in a very strange land.
Passport for my journey: two Aesthetics licenses, certification in Color Analysis-- and 25 years in the film/ TV, fashion and beauty industries.

-And what a trip it’s been too!


From the salons and spas of Texas to Hollywood film and TV studios, from the offices of Beverly Hills plastic surgeons- to my travels educating for natural skin care and cosmetics companies -- I’ve just about seen it all.

On film, I’ve eviscerated women, severed heads, slashed faces and created award-winning vomit… and then have turned around and worked on real, severely burned and maimed bodies in an attempt to provide reconstructive makeup procedures for very special folks in need.

I’ve experienced the dark and the light - the good and the bad - the ugly and the surreal -- and I feel qualified to make the following statement:
‘There’s very little that’s beautiful about the beauty industry…’

I’m deeply entrenched in the beauty ‘business’ and at times, have really had to struggle to find much beautiful, real -or redeeming about it.

Now don’t get me wrong. There’s very little that compares to the excitement, tension and stress of being on a film set- just as nothing compares with the joy of teaching a woman how to bring out her very best; and how to lovingly and effectively care for herself.

It can be downright thrilling. It can also be heart-wrenching and bittersweet.
Mine is the industry that teaches a woman her skin is just a shell, and that the chemicals applied to it don’t matter.

Mine is the industry that teaches a woman she can abuse herself through poor diet and bad lifestyle choices, yet find her ‘cure’ in a $150.00 jar of face cream.
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Mine is the industry that tells a woman an acid peel will make her ‘young’ again- or that she isn’t beautiful unless she can successfully mimic the images spewed at her by fashion magazines.
Mine is the industry peddling breast implants and Botox, liposuction and eating disorders- all in the name of ‘Beauty’.

Heaven help us if we don’t fit the ‘ideal’. --Worse yet, Heaven help us if we DO: Leaking breast implants, anorexia, bulimia, rising skin cancer rates, plummeting self esteem.

Enough is enough! How much longer will we feed this craziness? It is time for real, hardcore, honest education and its way past time to replace our inner panic and insecurity with self-awareness and self-respect. It's time we realized that Aging will happen - but only if we’re lucky.

The simple truth is: Aging is not a disease- or a deformity to be hidden at any and all costs.
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Beauty is present - on every level and at every stage of Life - PERIOD.
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We must look for it, seek it out - and acknowledge it-- when and where we find it. The only way to lasting, genuine Beauty, is to work from the inside out.
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Surely this isn’t news! Surely we know this in our innermost hearts and minds…
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Why is it such a forgotten Truth?
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We need to quit looking to the glossy pages of fashion magazines for our answers. We need instead, to look inside; inside our refrigerators, our medicine cabinets, our cosmetic bags - ourselves.
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This has been the journey that I’ve had to take, both as an industry professional and also as a woman in today's world.
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It’s been a tough and scary journey - yet a deeply rewarding one as well…much like a lone hike into the wilderness. As I see it: its way past time we stand up and say “Enough is enough.”
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It’s time to be at peace with ourselves.


About Carrie Pierce and Menopauserus.com
Carrie Pierce has worked exclusively in the skin care, health and beauty industry for over 25 years. She’s a licensed Aesthetician, is certified in Color Analysis and has built a solid, international reputation in the field of holistic, menopausal skin care; specializing in harmful cosmetic ingredients and industry practices. She is a recognized speaker and published writer- having written numerous articles in women’s health and beauty publications and she is Founder and President of Menopauserus.com - The ultimate natural help and support site for women in need of peri menopause and menopause relief.
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Carrie is a member of our Boomer Authority™ community of experts.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

The Sunday Funnies


Friday, November 6, 2009

Sandwich Generation: Baby Boomer Women Stuck in the Middle

Sandwich Generation: Baby Boomer Women Stuck in the Middle
by Barbara Meltzer
Special to BB[KC]


GEORGE BURNS ONCE SAID, “HAPPINESS IS having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family—in another city.”

It may be funny, and it may be true for some, but millions of baby boomers aren’t laughing. As boomers kick and scream their way into older adult life, many are facing the unexpected and daunting responsibility of caring for their parents. Faces can be lifted, joints can be replaced, and eyeglass lenses can be strengthened, but there’s no easy fix for the needs of an aging parent.

“If this trend continues, eldercare giving and its associated responsibilities, sacrifices, and suffering could very well become the social and economic sinkhole of the 21st century,” says psychologist and gerontologist Dr. Ken Dychtwald in his book AgePower. He goes on to explain that the combined trends of declining fertility and long life spans have left the average baby boomer with more parents than children. “As a result,” he adds, “the average 21st century American will actually spend more years caring for parents than children.”

Terri Williams is a 48-year-old widow who works for the Partners in Care Foundation. Her 80-year-old mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease three years ago. After Terri’s husband died, she sold the family home, and she and her three children, ages 9, 15 and 16, moved into her mother’s house. Space is tight and beds for two of the children are sleeping bags on the floor, but Terri sees it as a temporary situation. “The kids are okay with it right now,” says Terri. “My 9-year-old son knows just how to handle my mother and is able to redirect her when necessary. The kids have learned that this is grandma’s time. It kind of keeps teenage selfishness at bay.”
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The sandwich generation
Terri is one of the 78 million baby boomers, many of whom are referred to as the sandwich generation— squeezed between the responsibilities of caring for both children and parents, torn between the priorities of full-time jobs, managing the necessities of a functioning household, and being called upon to meet the various needs of other family members. Most, like Terri, are daughters dealing with the complexities and hardships of a now-needy mother.

“Baby boomer women are faced with incredible conflicts,” says Dr. Marion Somers, a geriatric care manager and author of Elder Care Made Easier (http://www.doctormarion.com/). “They are struggling to be good daughters and want to do what is right and what society expects of them. They hold themselves up to the highest standard, but the toll it takes is often great.

This is one of the most difficult challenges they will face in their lifetimes, often sacrificing their own physical and emotional needs. As caregivers, these women are often burdened by guilt, anxiety and depression, a growing silent health crisis among caregivers.”

Studies have shown that the “typical” caregiver is a 45-to-55-year-old woman who works full-time and spends 18 hours per week caring for her 77-year-old mother. About 65 percent of sandwiched caregivers are employed, one half full-time. Approximately 40 percent of these elder caregivers have children of their own under the age of 18 living at home. The emergence of the four-generation family will create even more complications and hardship.

Karen Stark, 52, works full-time for the City of Camarillo Public Works. After her father’s death, her mother began to show signs of dementia, often forgetting the names of her best friends. “I knew that something needed to be done,” says Karen, “so I moved her from Arizona to a senior community near me in Camarillo.” Karen and her husband had a son and daughter at home. Her mother’s condition deteriorated quickly, and she had to be moved to an assisted living facility where she found it hard to make friends.

Her dependence on Karen increased, taking up even more of her time. “I was her only outlet,” she adds, “and I brought her home with me every weekend. She never asked me, but I put those demands on myself because I knew my mom had no one but me.”
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Role transfer
By 2003, Karen was close to having a nervous breakdown. Although she joined a support group for adult children of parents with Alzheimer’s Disease, balancing a husband, children, a full-time job, and the hours spent with her mother became too much, and Karen started to exhibit all of the signs of caregiver’s stress. Adds Karen, “It was hard because I was trying to be there for everyone and felt bad for my kids. I felt I was shortchanging them.

“My mother was my role model. She was super mom and sacrificed a lot. I felt that I had to do the same.My family did help, but I felt as though I had lots of part-time jobs, all at the same time.” It was just a matter of time before stress took its toll and Karen had a physical breakdown that prevented her body from eliminating any waste for two weeks. She went back to work after that, but it took her almost two months to fully recuperate.

Karen believed that she, too, had to be super mom and became the parent that her mother had been to her. “No one is trained for what I call ‘role transfer’,” says L.A.-based geriatric psychiatrist Dr. David Trader. “It is not something that is normal for either the mother or the daughter. Even women, who did not have good relationships with their mothers, feel obligated to take care of them as they age. It is a very basic and natural feeling.”

Asking for help
Dr. Somers stresses the need for caregivers to take care of themselves. “If you’re not well, you can’t help anyone else. Figure out exactly what kind of help you need,” she advises, “but before you hire anyone, talk with family members and friends. Don’t be afraid to ask for help and be clear about what you need. People are more likely to lend a hand if the role and time commitment are both clearly defined.”

Susan, who prefers not to give her last name, is a Chula Vista resident and the mother of three. Two children live at home, as does her mother, 85, who moved in with her when she began to exhibit signs of dementia last year. A stay-at-home mother, Susan was born and raised in Venezuela. She says, “I am lucky that I don’t have to work. This is the way we do things in my culture, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”Her husband is completely supportive of the situation, and the couple also took care of Susan’s aunt until she died.

“My aunt didn’t have any children, and we were her family,” adds Susan, “so it was up to us to care for her.” Luckily, Susan has a network of support from family and friends. What Susan does find difficult is “being strict” with her mother—telling her what to do when the need arises. “It is very hard for me,” she says, “when I need to tell her to take a shower or that she can’t eat certain foods because they’re bad for her. She’s my mother and not my child, and she gets angry.”

Setting the rules
“A woman who is parenting her parent is responsible for the well being and safety of that person,” adds Dr. Trader. “She must set rules. The difficult part is knowing what control to give the parent and what control she must assume herself. The threshold is different for each person. There is no cookbook formula for it.” Dr. Trader believes that, as with children, caregivers must be consistent with parents. It is also important to fight any guilt that might take over.

While Terri, Susan and Karen exemplify significant hardships and complexities of parental care, their individual plights could be worse. Today’s mobile society dictates that many women in the same situation live a great distance from their parents, necessitating last minute trips in cases of emergency. Others do not have siblings or other family members to help share the financial necessities or to help out in other ways.

Although many people find this difficult to do, all experts stress the importance of planning ahead. The Complete AARP Guide to Caring for your Parents, by Hugh Delehanty & Elinor Ginzler, offers several tips to getting the conversation started:
•Be open to openings.
•Approach indirectly.
•Ask for help.
•Offer help.
•Be direct and show your concern.
•Be ready to be found out.
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The mother/daughter bond
In her book, Good Daughters: Loving Our Mothers as They Age, writer Patricia Beard explores the cultural changes that have placed so many boomer women in the middle of raising their children and caring for their parents. “The mother-daughter relationship is like no other,” she writes. “Our mothers define us before we define ourselves. Because we are like them we look to them for models of how we should (or should not) lead our lives at every stage. Our feelings for each other are unique in quality and sometimes in intensity.”

Beard provides a template for women eager to reflect on what it means to be a good daughter when a mother grows older. Her goals include:
1. To help our mothers find meaning and comfort at the end of their lives
2. To have relationships with them that satisfy us both and to engage with them as adults with mutual respect
3. To love our mothers as uncritically as we did when we were children—or at least to be better than we have been lately at showing them that we love them.

A journey worth taking
Late-middle age is a complicated time for boomers. Still healthy and active, they can, and want to, enjoy life’s pleasures. It is also a time when their parents are entering old-old age and responsibilities to family increase. It is a journey full of twists and turns, laughter and tears, joy and pain—but a journey many must take. For a daughter, in particular, it is an opportunity to look closely into the face of the woman who raised her and to perhaps see her own face reflected back.
The journey will be hard—often painful—but it can offer opportunities for reconciliation, understanding and acceptance. It can also provide the chance to finally learn just where some of those funny habits and expressions you have really came from.



Barbara Meltzer
Barbara is the founder and principal of the Los Angeles-based public relations and marketing agency, Barbara Meltzer & Associates. Her personal experience as a family caregiver sparked an interest in aging issues and advocacy. In 2007, she was appointed to serve as a commissioner on the Los Angeles County Commission on Aging. Barbara Meltzer can be reached at
barbara@meltzerpr.com, or by visiting http://www.meltzerpr.com/
Barbara is a member of our
Boomer Authority™ community of Experts

Note: Barbara’s article first appeared Life After 50, which granted BB[KC] permission to repurpose and for which we are grateful.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Are you a Boomer, Zoomer or a Halfback?



Are you a Boomer, Zoomer or a Halfback?
By Nancy Padberg

Best Boomer Towns highlights the best 21 places to live in the U.S. for baby boomers. You are a baby boomer if you were born between 1946 and 1964. You are active, engaged and the healthiest, wealthiest demographic the U.S. has ever seen. And note, in 2010, 108 million people will be over 45 in the U.S.
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The criteria used to create the best boomer towns list:
Airport access
University presence
Mild climate
Volunteer opportunities
Range of home prices
Culture
Active community
More hospitals/doctors per capita
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A 2006 Pew Research Center survey found that expectations and reality differ when predicting the age of retirement. While the workforce thinks they will retire when they are 62, the average age of retirement is actually 57.8 years of age. Today’s retirees are generally more affluent, younger and healthier and live three more decades into their golden years. This is why planning where you will spend those golden years is very important. There is a term coined by Tim Smart, U.S. News and & World Report called “Zoomers” that means you reinvent your life after you leave your primary career, you may have seen it in the media.
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All the towns selected will support a “zoomer” lifestyle – active, creative, social and involved. For instance do you know in the Villages they have over 1400 clubs and one their largest ones being the Harley Davidson club? There are no rankings as each town as the same criteria. There is only one town in Florida we selected - as I understand there is a trend happening with people moving out of Florida to the Carolinas – it’s called “halfbacks”. They move from the Northeast to Florida and then half-way-back.
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Here are a few of our Best Boomer Town Blog Highlights – full articles can be found Best Boomer Towns
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It’s hard to beat the panorama of the Sonoran Desert. So if your idea of paradise is experiencing golf in such a setting – look no further than Heritage Highlands at Dove Mountain. Three words aptly define golf at this most welcoming and prestigious active adult community in Tucson: Memorable. Exhilarating. Magic. First-rate golf and gorgeous, unobstructed views of surrounding mountain ranges are only part of the package that makes Heritage Highlands such a popular Southwest community. But with vistas of five mountain ranges, golf is certainly an outstanding recreational amenity.
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Pinehurst North Carolina conjures up immediate thoughts of world class golf courses and championship competitions. The famed Pinehurst Resort has hosted the U.S. Men's Open Championship once in 1999 and again in 2005. The Pine Needles Resort has hosted the Ladies U.S. Open Championships three times; 1996, 2004 and 2007. Further, it was recently announced that in 2014 the Pinehurst Resort is scheduled to accomplish what has never been done before; host both Men's and Ladies' United States Championships in back to back weeks on the same course venue. In this case, the Pinehurst #2 course is the chosen course. With all included, this promises to be an unforgettable golf fortnight for players and spectators alike.
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Columbia is a goldmine of fantastic local businesses. Their presence throughout the city truly provides a ‘uniquely Columbia' experience for visitors and residents alike. What local businesses have to offer combines the personal touch of a small town and the world-class products of a large city. In fact, Forbes named Columbia as the number five ‘Best Small Place for Business and Careers' in March 2009 based on a variety of factors including cost of living, cost of doing business and projected job growth.
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If you are a zoomer, boomer or a halfback - we do hope you find your
Best Boomer Town. If you have questions email me at nancy@bestboomertowns.com. We have MP3 files on each of the towns on my host page at http://voiceamerica.com/ – type in Nancy Shonka or Best Boomer Towns and listen to past episodes right at your computer!




Nancy Padberg - CEO Navigate Boomer Media and Best Boomer Towns
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Navigate Boomer Media is the world's largest premium baby boomer rep firm http://navigateboomermedia.com/. Nancy is a former Fortune 500 executive with 18 years experience of building and managing media companies. Expertise in increasing revenue leading to profitability, strategic alliances, acquisitions, creating healthy cultures and establishing long-term relationships. Nancy has served on several non-profit children's boards and is avidly involved with Pepperdine's Alumni Leadership Counsel. Nancy is a graduate of Iowa State University, was a Big 12 collegiate golfer and earned her MBA from GSBM, Pepperdine University.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Make This List Before Your Bucket List

Make This List Before Your Bucket List
Blowing Up the old Old!™
By Joyce Mason – Special Guest Contributor


I loved the movie, The Bucket List, with Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. Most people have a “bucket list” in their minds—things they want to do before they “kick the bucket.” This delightfully mismatched pair of characters really got into it in a big way, traveling the world to complete their quest, even though they both had terminal illnesses. Their last-ditch "do-before-dying" included items of wild abandon like skydiving and emotional completion—a reunion with an estranged family member.

We hate this reminder, but life itself is terminal. We just don’t know how long we’ve got on this beautiful planet. My awareness of this fact has become more acute now that I am over 60, a number it pains me to type!

As I’ve contemplated my List, I’ve had a strange but wonderful realization. Many of the exotic travels and accomplishments I have hoped for, off and on in my life, pale in comparison to what I already have—and have done. This reminds me of one of my favorite quotes:
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Happiness isn’t getting what you want; it’s wanting what you have.

It also reminds me of the key to all manifestation and joy I have learned by living with eyes open to insight. Happiness stems from gratitude. Grateful receivers appreciate life’s gifts and continue in the flow of prosperity and divine surprises. By getting into the habit of being thankful for what you already have every day, it may surprise you how you’ll trim that Bucket List down to manageable size! Let’s face it. This could be helpful. After all, even if we live to be 100-plus, we are still in the second half of life with only limited years to achieve our goals.

It’s usually easier to see how the gratitude principal works in someone else, because we are so close to our own desires, the longings that lead to the Bucket List. Often we’ve been wed to those wants for so many years; we are not objective.

I saw how it works in someone I have been wed to for 11 years, my husband. When medical issues changed his life dramatically, he was lost and angry and understandably depressed. Over time, I have seen him transform into someone who is truly content. He loves our home nestled in nature, our pets, our life—and especially me. (Lucky me!) Stripped of the outer trappings of work and other externals that normally contribute so much to our self-worth, Tim finally has begun to find it from within—the genuine article.

So, here’s my thought. Before you write your Bucket List, write your Gratitude List. It may shorten the exercise and make it a lot easier for you!

Yes, I’d love to travel more, if and when resources allow. My fantasy trip is to visit the countries of Tim’s/my ethnic backgrounds: Poland and Luxembourg for him, Greece (again), Slovakia, and Hungary for me. We’d both love to go to Australia and New Zealand and to spend more time in Hawaii.

I want to publish books, many of them. But if what I have learned in life is helpful to those who most appreciate it, whether on my blogs, website,Twitter, or a conversation over coffee, I have really lived a life with purpose. I have already received feedback many times that I have made a difference to people.

Maybe your Bucket List, too, is shorter than you think and your life is richer—than you knew, however long or short it turns out to be.



About Joyce Mason
Writer Joyce Mason started typing out her unique insights at age 10 and never stopped. Her strong intuition and heightened perceptions have helped her see that “something more” in life that lasts as long as you have the eyes to see it. Joyce’s blog,
Hot Flashbacks, Cool Insights is the sidecar to her forthcoming memoir of the same name. Her background as a social worker, astrologer, and spiritual consultant have geared her toward sharing the universal truth in countless "aha" memories. Wisdom, laughter, insights and inspiration are the explosions in her "mind field."

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Midlife Matters with H. Les Brown




Midlife Matters with H. Les Brown







The Cost of Doing Nothing

Robert Kiyosaki in his book, Rich Dad, Poor Dad, makes the point that houses aren't really assets, they're liabilities. Anyone whose mortgage has been caught in the current economic mess has first-hand experience of what he means. Anyone who owns property knows that just paying the mortgage isn't nearly enough. There's also the extensive cost of maintenance to be considered as well. Property depreciates, and that means that, without you doing anything at all, everything you own decays at a given rate. For buildings, the average rate of decay comes down to from new to worthless ruins in about thirty years. Although it may not be directly measurable, depreciation is a real, calculable cost of doing nothing. Think about it: for a nice $300,000 home ($150,000 home + $150,000 property), your cost of doing nothing comes down to as much as $5,000 a year!
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Obviously, a house (or a car or a boat or any other big-ticket item) has a calculable monetary value. Now, how about those incalculable 'assets' that go to make up your life? There are a few universal and inviolable laws in this world, and one of them is the law of entropy: the tendency for all things to move toward maximum randomness (otherwise known as 'decay'). It's not really the chaos theory that we have to worry about (the theory that the behavior of large, complex systems [like the weather] is fundamentally unpredictable): that just tells us that we can't tell when or where disaster may strike. It's entropy that assures us that, without taking preventive action, disaster is inevitable. The true cost of doing nothing — whether the cost is calculable or not — is eventual disaster. Assuming that the midlife transition is upon you, what exactly does that mean?
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It means, primarily, that allowing yourself to become comfortable with the status quo (or, even worse, striving to maintain the status quo) is a sure recipe for disaster in the three critical areas that matter to you the most: your career, your relationships, and your personal health and well-being. If you're like most people, you're extremely generous when it comes to your toys and your fun (your possessions and your recreational activities), but you're proportionally cheap when it comes to taking care of yourself. Most of us don't mind going into debt (bank loans and credit cards) to purchase something we want, but, when self-care is involved, everything seems too 'expensive,' whether it's in time or money. For every time we've denied ourselves some luxury by telling ourselves, "I can't afford that," I'll bet there are many more occasions when we've encountered something that could genuinely improve our quality of life, but we've passed it up because of the cost.
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Let's look at some pertinent examples.
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Here's the most obvious (and the one that almost everyone readily admits): "I should take better care of myself." Your health and well-being are dependent on three essential elements: nutrition, exercise, and rest (along with quality health care, when necessary). Is there anyone reading this to whom this is news??? It's been well-proven that stress is a killer and that a combination of excellent nutrition, exercise and rest can go a long way toward reducing the ill effects that stress brings on. In the book, Change or Die, Alan Deutschman reveals the stark facts: 90% of all people who are told that they must change their behavior or die, sooner or later go back to their old habits. What excuses are you using to hasten your demise? Healthy food is too expensive? Doesn't taste as good as all those round, fatty molecules? Takes too long to prepare? And why aren't you exercising regularly (and how many unused health club memberships, exercise devices and weight loss supplements have you collected)? What happened to last night's eight hours of sleep? What excuse did you use for cheating yourself of stress-reducing rest?
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Now, about that person you're married to (and to whom you professed your love). How's your communication? How about the amount of quality time you're spending together? When was the last time that you took time to work on your relationship? How much has each of you changed over the years? How much do you (personally) still need to change in order to keep your relationship not only strong but growing? When was the last time that the two of you took your issues to an impartial third party (or do you imagine that the two of you are somehow unique and don't need outside help or advice)? You say that you don't have issues?? Then things are worse than I had imagined! People change — particularly during midlife — and, if you're not working at growing together, then you're growing apart. 'Disaster,' in this case, comes in the guise of waking up one day and wondering, "Who is this person, and what did they do with my husband/wife? I want them back!" Have you read Dr. Jed Diamond's book, The Irritable Male Syndrome, and, if not, why not?
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Finally, let's look at your career. Regardless of whether you're an entrepreneur or you work for someone else, your career (and your health and your relationship) depend on what you're willing to invest in it. I'm not talking about how long you spend at the office or the volume of the output of your work day. That won't get you anywhere beyond where you already are and, in fact, it's a sure route to obsolescence. They say, 'If you want to keep getting what you're getting, keep doing what you're doing,' but, in fact, when you keep doing what you're doing, you're going to keep getting less of what you're getting. If you're not going forward, you're going backward. And remember, you're a boomer! You're not working toward 'retirement;' you need to be planning for your next career! What are you doing to prepare? The number one factor that every expert quotes as being an indispensable element in their (and anyone else's) success is: having a coach or mentor. So, who's yours? How much time, energy and expense are you willing to dedicate toward the end of advancing your career prospects? What's your exit strategy?
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Consider at the name of my business, ProActivation. It's quite obviously made up of two terms: proactive and activation. Whether or not you take these two terms to heart may very well spell the difference between thriving in your health, relationships, and career . . . or not. Nobody can make proactive investments in your life for you: it's entirely up to you. As I've mentioned often before: at midlife, the training wheels come off. The expectations and constraints that ushered you through childhood, adolescence and adulthood have served (or outlasted) their usefulness. In maturity, nobody's going to be able to tell you what you must or can't do. Here's a radical statement: laws are made for children and adolescents. If you're still operating on the level of what somebody else is telling you that you can or can't do, you're ethically still a child (and have no business reading this yet). In maturity, making the right choices has to do with alignment with the principles and values seared into your heart and soul. If your proactivation isn't coming from what's in your heart, it'll never have any lasting effect.
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Every morning when you wake up, you have a choice to make: whether today you're going to invest in your own personal future or not. Every morning you have the opportunity to just let it ride for one more day: to do nothing. That's your prerogative. I just hope that, after reading these few words, you'll no longer be able to do that with a clear conscience, however, imagining that doing nothing costs you nothing. Indeed, the cost of doing nothing is very, very high: sooner or later, it could cost you your health, your relationship, your career, your future, even your life. That kind of puts the cost of hiring a trainer, a marriage counselor or a life or business coach into perspective, doesn't it?



About H. Les Brown
H. Les Brown, MA, CFCC grew up in an entrepreneurial family and has been an entrepreneur for most of his life. He is the author of The Frazzled Entrepreneur's Guide to Having It All. Les is a certified Franklin Covey coach and a certified Marshall Goldsmith Leadership Effectiveness coach. He has Masters Degrees in philosophy and theology from the University of Ottawa. His experience includes ten years in the ministry and over fifteen years in corporate management. His expertise as an innovator and change strategist has enabled him to develop a program that allows his clients to effect deep and lasting change in their personal and professional lives. Subscribe to his FREE Weekly e-Zine Midlife Matters at www.ProActivation.org!


Publisher's Note:This is Les' fourth installment of MidLife Matters. His column appears on BB[KC] of the first Tuesday of every month. Les is a member of our Boomer Authority™ community of experts.—Martin Diano

Monday, November 2, 2009

Distress-Free Aging with Amy Sherman



Distress-Free Aging with Amy Sherman
Staying Flexible as You Age ─ Part lll
By Amy Sherman - BB[KC] Columnist

How can you increase your overall well-being? It’s easy if you stay open and receptive to new ideas. The key is to be flexible in your thinking and behavior and to not fall into a rut.

Your familiar routine becomes the problem and that leads to boredom and frustration. Your life becomes so ho-hum that it is no longer memorable. To get unstuck, you need to bring more spice and excitement into your life. You can only do that by shaking things up and by stepping outside your comfort zone.

Basically, if you realize that your thoughts, feelings and actions put you where you are today, then your thoughts, feelings and actions can put you somewhere else as well. Take an inventory of all the wonderful things that are happening in your life, whether it’s your job, your marriage, your friends, your children, etc. Acknowledge that you have done a great job and were successful. Now examine what isn't working and see if you can decide how your behavior or thinking is creating that, too.

The more you expand your choices and how you use them, the more you’ll discover about yourself. You will then make your life more colorful and more spirited than you ever could have imagined.

Here are some things you can do to stop coasting and to start breezing through life:
1. Make one new decision right now that would flip your life around –just a little. You want to disrupt your present patterns so that your mind has to concentrate on a new way of doing things (for example, take a new route to work, join a Salsa class, write with your non-dominant hand).

2. As in the movie, “The Bucket List”, make a list of things you’ve always wanted to do over your lifetime –and then do it! Stop putting off learning Spanish, the piano, guitar or tap dancing because you deserve to have fun and enjoy your life to the max!

3. Start expanding your circle of friends to bring new ideas and activities into your life. Invite some casual acquaintances over for coffee or volunteer at your favorite charity.

4. Change your diet by exploring foods you never ate before and experiment with new recipes to excite your stomach and palate.

5. Change your appearance. Cut your hair, get highlights or revamp your wardrobe.

What you are striving for is not super stardom, but to feel attractive and refreshed. You may not be aware of the many hair, cosmetic and fashion secrets that are available to men and women to enhance your appearance and make you look and feel younger. When the compliments start coming in, you’ll know what I mean!

It’s all about reinventing yourself. Think of it as a new adventure to explore all the possibilities that would make you more exciting and fulfilled. The changes you make are innovative and fun and will make you feel more renewed and revitalized. There are no limitations on what you can do. Stay open and flexible and you will find you are living your much desired dreams.

Next Month Part 4: Motivate Yourself to Succeed


About Amy Sherman
Amy is a licensed mental health counselor in the state of Florida. She is the author of Distress-Free Aging: A Boomer’s Guide to Creating a Fulfilled and Purposeful Life and The Joy of Optimism 10-Lesson eCourse. Go to
http://www.bummedoutboomer.com
for more information and to purchase Distress-Free Aging. Amy can be reached at amy@bummedoutboomer.com
Amy is a member of our Boomer Authority™ community of experts.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Create Your Competitive Advantage and Learn How to Brand Yourself to Get that New Job!



Create Your Competitive Advantage and Learn How to Brand Yourself to Get that New Job!
Commentary by Martin Diano - Publisher, BB[KC]



If you are among the many unfortunate Boomers and find yourself in a career bind – either out of work or having to return to work because of the economy – there are numerous career-focused web destinations you can visit and scores of professionals you can consult with to help return you to the status of gainfully (and happily) employed.

Last month, I had the opportunity to attend the AARP conference and convention at Las Vegas to visit with several clients. One section of the exhibit floor was the ‘career center,’ which devoted itself to helping boomers in a variety of ways find employment, improve their existing career, or determine what are some of the options available.

I knew in advance one of the members of Boomer Authority™, Marva L. Goldsmith, would be there to give presentations over the three day event. Her presentation is titled “Branding Yourself After Age 50,” named after the book she authored of the same title. I was eager to hear Marva’s presentation.

Marva’s insight, I believe, is extraordinarily useful to any Boomer who is looking to improve their employment prospects. Her presentation, like her book, is all about enhancing your personal brand, an issue which most people do not know how to begin to address.

The book will walk you through issues like applying branding principles to yourself as if you were a product, which you are when it comes to getting hired. (You are, after all, being compared along with other applicants with regard to who can deliver value and make the biggest contribution.) You’ll get advice on turning your passion into a brand, and you’ll learn about establishing your brand identity and action plan to put into practice.

If you find yourself in a situation where you believe a personal brand makeover is in order, Marva’s book is a good place to start. For more about the book’s topics and to purchase from Amazon.com, click Branding Yourself After Age 50


Marva is a member of our Boomer Authority™ community of experts. You can find out more about Marva at her web site >> MarvaGoldsmith.com


Additional resources:
Challenges & Opportunities for 50+ Job Seekers
Community Colleges Aid Encore Transitions
Baby Boomer Career Center Book Store

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